Books · Relationships
Book summary and verdict
The Laws of Human Nature
Robert Greene explains envy, ego, and manipulation, so naturally you’ll use it to diagnose every asshole you know, because looking inward hurts and Kevin already has that face. Then you realize Kevin bought the book too.
Should you read it?
Read it if you keep meeting manipulative lunatics and have somehow never wondered why they all have your phone number. It explains envy, ego, and bad judgment, then points out that you are the only person present at every disaster.
L.The book says people disguise fear as confidence and envy as concern. I applied this to everyone I knew. They became easier to understand once they stopped speaking to me.
The ideas
I · Irrationality
The feeling makes the decision. Then your brain arrives holding a clipboard.
You think you're rational until someone takes the parking spot you had already emotionally furnished, and now you're arguing a federal case alone in a Honda.
A feeling makes the decision, and then your brain wanders in with a clipboard and calls it research. We bought the doughnut for strategic reasons.
Anger interviews itself and finds no wrongdoing. “I didn’t send that email because I was furious. I sent it because somebody needed to defend the integrity of the quarterly spreadsheet.” No, Kevin wrote “per my previous email,” and for eleven seconds you wanted Kevin’s children to grow up without a father.
Greene’s fix is painfully simple: notice the feeling, then wait. Write the angry message. Save it. Go to sleep. At midnight, you are a prophet defending justice. After breakfast, you are an unemployed man explaining screenshots.
L.Write it angry. Send it employed.
II · Narcissism
The interesting question isn’t “Who is the narcissist?” It’s “What if I’m the asshole?”
The rest of this idea is in the app.
III · Envy
If “Good for her” is immediately followed by “although,” that is envy clearing its throat.
The rest of this idea is in the app.
IV · Character
Character is who you become when they forget the fries.
The rest of this idea is in the app.
V · Mirror
You read one book about hidden motives and suddenly the waiter is not busy, he is punishing you. Sir, he forgot the ranch.
The rest of this idea is in the app.
What to actually do
Write the angry message. Save it. Go to sleep. In the morning, decide whether you still want to destroy your career over punctuation.
Smaller: At midnight, you are a prophet defending justice. After breakfast, you are an unemployed man explaining screenshots.
L.Draft it. Do not become evidence.
When somebody shares good news, notice the first thought that crawls out of you before your mouth puts on a smile and starts making supportive noises.
Smaller: If “Good for her” is immediately followed by “although,” that is envy clearing its throat.
L.Just notice it. The little bastard likes disguises.
In your next conversation, stop pushing your point and ask one real follow-up question. You may discover that people listen to you more. You may also discover that your idea actually sucks.
Smaller: Both outcomes are useful. One is simply less festive.
L.Listen once. Survive the findings.
Pick one person whose behavior keeps confusing you. Write down the last three things they actually did, not what they promised.
Smaller: Look for repetition. One canceled plan is life. Five canceled plans is a subscription.
L.Decide from the pattern, not tonight's apology. Your hope gets one vote. It has been voting twice.
Still in the app
- What happened when people tried them
- Bullshit?
- Where readers disagree
- The one thing worth remembering
The rest of this book is in the app.
Skip the Book reads the self-help books so you don't have to: what each one argues, what happened when real people tried it, which claims are exaggerated, and what to do tonight. 131 books and counting, new ones most days.
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